


What did I do to deserve this?

by Guess_Monster04



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: BAMF! Yamaguchi gives me life, Bokuto and Kuroo are amazing bestfriends, F/F, I try, M/M, Suga is also BAMF!, but im not funny so, but kenma is exclusive cinnamon roll, but tsukki would never admit that, daichi is struggling, don't trust oikawa, fanfic?, i think there's humor, you mean trash fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-03 04:40:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8696929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guess_Monster04/pseuds/Guess_Monster04
Summary: In which Bokuto and Kuroo are amazing bestfriends, and Tsukishima is just done with their childish antics.





	1. Why me?

Tsukishima was a smart man, wise beyond his years. He was incredibly perceptive too, reading people like the pages of a book and conjuring up solutions to problems that were once deemed “impossible” to find. And on top of that, he was extremely handsome, towering at 6’2” with dirty blonde hair and piercing gold colored eyes, and a jawline that could practically cut stone.His porcelain skin was either envied or adored by girls and boys alike, and his smirk made people swoon. But the extraordinary being that was Tsukishima himself had one downfall : he was salty as fuck. For what reason is unknown but he was especially salty when it came to people. Two people to be specific. Two very clingy people who just wouldn’t leave the poor boy alone and let him live. But Tsukishima didn’t care, he wasn’t one to dwell on such trivial things. No, he wouldn’t spend his every waking hour wishing he’d never met the two pricks, nor would he sigh and groan every time they asked him for help with homework with them because hello,Tsukishima made the best tutor. No he was above it all and he would not be caving into their fuckery anytime soon. 

 

So when he saw the two idiots rushing towards him with open arms the moment he stepped out of the cafe, he did the one thing that any sane person would do: he dropped his shit and ran. He kept running and running,but they were fast, and had more stamina than he could ever acquire. He started to slow down because his poor heart couldn’t handle all the cardio, so the other two were able to catch up to him quickly (but literally, they’d only been running for two minutes). “Tsukki!!” Bokuto screeched while pouncing onto his back. Tsukishima fell to the pavement, and silently cursed his stick legs for not being able to hold the weight. Kuroo squatted down and patted his back rather harshly. “Long time no see mate, how’ve you been?”  
“Kuroo, we literally just saw each other last week,” Tsukishima deadpanned. “But still, we miss our precious Kouhai,” Bokuto stated while helping Tsukishima onto his feet.  
Tsukishima wiped the dust of his pants before replying, “Right well, is there a specific reason why you decided to tackle me to the ground? Because if not I think I’ll be taking my leave now.”  
Kuroo put his hands up in defense, “Hey hey, no need to get snarky with me now, we just wanted to know if you’d like to go to the club with us tonight. Iwaizumi and Daichi will be coming too.”  
“Would it be bad if I said no?” Tsukishima questioned.

“Yes,” Kuroo said matter of factly  
.  
“Well then no,” Tsukishima said almost immediately.

“Whyyyy?” Bokuto whined.

“Because I said so.”

“Come on Tsukki, it’ll be fun!”

Tsukishima sighed, “Bokuto,Kuroo,do I look like the type of person that’d enjoy clubbing?” Kuroo looked at him thoughtfully. “Well no but you don’t have much of a choice in this matter. We were just asking to be nice but you will be going home and getting your ass ready to go and have fun. And if you don’t I will break every pair of headphones you have, starting with the ones you have on now,” he said, a sly grin making inching onto his face. Tsukishima’s hands flew to his headphones. “Not my precious babies,” he said in a hurt tone,eyes filled with concern. Bokuto nodded, “Yes, your ‘precious babies’.”

“You evil bastards,” Tsukishima spat before looking down dejectedly. “I’ll be ready by 6,” He whispered. “Fantastic!” Kuroo practically sang. “We’ll be picking you up at 6:15 then, see you soon Tsukki~”  
“Yeah bye Tsukki!” Bokuto said, and with that they made their way down the sidewalk, without a care in the world. Tsukishima looked between them, the pavement, and his items he’d dropped before attempting to make a run for it. Only one thing ran through his mind at that moment: What deity did I upset to have this brought upon me?


	2. Badass Motherfuckers stick together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know where I was going with this, it'll probably be the trashiest chapter of them all tbh. Next time i won't try to write a chapter in the span of 2 hours :)

“YOU PETTY LITTLE SHIT, IF YOU DON’T OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!!” Suga screamed as he continued to pound on it. Yamaguchi cackled like a maniac. Grin spreading from ear to ear he said, “Suga, sweety, maybe if you hadn’t puked all over my bedspread, you wouldn’t be in this predicament now would you?” Suga was infuriated to say the least. “YAMAGUCHI YOU KNOW DAMN WELL I WAS DRUNK!!”  
“Well if you hadn’t gotten drunk in the first place, and acted like the responsible 23 year old you claim to be…” Yamaguchi trailed off, sipping his tea in the process. When he didn’t hear a response his smirk grew, but soon the smug look on his face was replaced with a slightly concerned one, for the silence grew to be unnerving. “Suga?” he called out while making his way to the door. He grimaced when he didn’t hear his usual snarky reply, or sarcastic comeback. In fact, he didn’t hear anything at all. Yamaguchi was about to open the door when Suga rammed through it, bulldozing him in the process. “Oh shit sorry Yamag- wait why am apologizing to your hoe ass, you locked me out of the house for 3 fucking hours.”  
“Probably cause you love me too much,” Yamaguchi said with false affection. He looked over Suga’s shoulder, and winced at the destruction of his front door. “Sugaaa that was the third door I had to buy this month!” Yamaguchi whined. “I have no sympathy for you,” Suga replied coldly, right as Oikawa and Kenma walked over the threshold. “Are we interrupting something?” Oikawa asked. That’s when they realized they were still on top of each other. Springing apart, they made their way to opposite sides of the room, simultaneously replying “no” in the process. Kenma looked up from his phone, “Where’s Keiji?”

 

“Oh he’s upstairs sleeping,” Yamaguchi said.  
“Well not anymore, you guys are so loud,” Akaashi replied, a yawn following his statement.Oikawa clapped his hands together. “ Well now that you all are here I can tell you that our manager just called and said we’re having a schedule change.” 

 

“When do have we to go to work then?” Yamaguchi asked.“Fridays and Saturdays.We go in at 6.”Kenma replied. Suga groaned, “But whyy?”

 

“Well he said it’s because out of all the workers at the club, we could handle large crowds the best. Those crowds typically are formed on the weekend.” Yamaguchi gasped, “Oh my nuggets, today is Saturday!”  
“Well no shit sherlock,” Oikawa sneered, “That’s why I’m here, so that I can pick up you fuckers and get there before our shift starts.”  
Akaashi looked at his phone, “We have about an hour and a half until our shifts start and none of us are even dressed yet.”

 

“Oikawa and I brought our stuff with us, we we’re going to get dressed here,” Kenma said. All was silent until Suga spoke up, “Well what are we waiting for? You heard Akaashi, we only have an hour and a half, let’s get going!” and with that the boys ran up the stairs to Yamaguchi’s room.

 

When they got there Oikawa and Kenma started pulling out the uniforms they had in their bags while Yamaguchi, Suga, and Akaashi rummaged through the closet to find theirs. After a few rock-paper-scissor matches, and a screaming match between Oikawa and Yamaguchi, they finally decided that Kenma and Akaashi would get the bathroom, while everyone else got dressed in the room.

 

Once Kenma and Akaashi finished and came out of the bathroom, everyone’s jaws dropped. Oikawa let out a low whistle, “Goddamn, when they said the new dancer uniforms would be even sexier than the last, I didn’t think they were serious. Shit and I thought my new uniform was hot,” Oikawa said, glancing down at his black booty shorts and matching thigh highs. They all stared at Kenma and Akaashi, who were clad in white, long sleeve crop tops, skin tight leggings, and black army boots. “Wow, Akaashi even put jewelry like,I haven’t seen him wear his septum piercing since high school,” Yamaguchi said with wide eyes. Suga nodded in agreement, “Yeah I just- I have no words for this.” Akaashi rolled his eyes in irritation, “Ok ok we get it, we’re hot, your not. Now can we get a move on we don’t have that much time left. I’ll be waiting outside, don’t take too long.” Then he turned and sashayed out the room, leaving everyone gaping in his wake. Yamaguchi was the first to recover, “Well, I guess we should get going then huh?” Everyone nodded and started to file out one at a time, making their way downstairs and out the nonexistent door.

 

After arguing about who got to sit in the passenger seat (Oikawa claimed they had no reason to be arguing because every seat was a passenger seat) they pulled out of the drive way and made their way to the club.

 

Oikawa pulled into a parking spot reserved for workers, and before they got out he said, “Ok ladies, we are sexy motherfuckers who don’t give a fuck what anyone says.”  
“YEAH!” Suga and Yamaguchi screamed.  
“And we don’t let nobody hold us down.”  
“YEAH!” Akaashi and Kenma shrieked.  
“The customers don’t seduce us,” Oikawa started.  
“WE SEDUCE THEM!” They all finished.  
Oikawa wiped away a fake tear, “I’ve taught you well. Alright then let’s go in there and make some money!!”  
The pep talk seemed to get them into game mode because when they stepped through those doors all eyes were on them. They were the epitome of sex appeal, hips swaying seductively and gazes so sensual, it made the nearest person swoon on the spot. They stopped in the middle of the room and turned to each other, smirks growing by the minute. 

“Well, let’s get this show on the road shall we?”


	3. Everything Will Be Alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone~ I'm sorry it took so long to update, with finals and all my schedule was a bit full. But now that I'm out of school for winter break, I should be updating consistently. I hope you enjoy!!

The boys took their positions, Oikawa behind the bar, Yamaguchi and Suga near the tables, and Akaashi and Kenma on one of the circular stages in the middle of the room. Oikawa was busy wiping out shot glasses when their manager came to greet him. “Oikawa-san, I glad you made on time! Sorry for the sudden shift change, but the workers who had this shift previously just couldn’t handle it,” he chuckled while rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. Oikawa gave him one of his blinding smiles before replying, “ Oh it’s alright Takeda-kun we don’t mind at all! Actually this works out better for us because this new schedule doesn’t interfere with our classes.” Takeda beamed, “Well great, I’m glad it worked out in the end! Hm, hey do you mind telling me where Akaashi and Kenma are?”  
“Oh yeah they’re on one of the stages.”  
“Ok thank you Oikawa, you're always a big help!”  
“No problem!” Oikawa called out after him as he made his way to the center of the room. Akaashi and Kenma turned when they heard Takeda moving towards them. “Ah, hello Takeda-san.” Akaashi greeted. “Hello,” Kenma said. They were both draped across the little stage, with Akaashi’s legs resting on the pole and Kenma laying on him, eyes never leaving his phone screen. “How are my little dancers doing?” Takeda asked, a grin making its way onto his face. He was always fond of those two in a fatherly sense, always looking out for them and supporting them when need be.  
“Oh, we’re fine, just a little tired.”  
Takeda nodded in understanding. “Well are you guys ready to blow up this joint? After word got around that your lot was taking the weekend shift, we’re starting to get more business,” he said, gesturing to enormous line outside waiting to get in the club. Kenma grunted, “I don’t know why, it’s not like we’re celebrities. We’re just normal college students who need the cash.” Takeda shook his head in disbelief, “You don't understand how good you guys are at your jobs. Oikawa is a master at bartending, he knows every drink and concoction like the back of his hand. Yamaguchi and Suga are the best when it comes socializing with folks, and their waiting skills are on par. Not to mention You and Akaashi’s dancing is incredible. I’m not surprised by the increase in customers, you all are just so popular.”  
Takeda gave them a moment to speak, but when they didn’t he began to speak, “Well, you guys do what you need to do, the spotlight hits you in five.” They nodded and started to help each other stretch, while going over the dance routine they created. He signaled the bouncers to open the doors for the people waiting outside, and when he saw a familiar pair of dorks coming his way, he grinned. “TAKEDA,” Bokuto yelled as he came to a screeching halt in front of him, “I MISSED YOU!” Kuroo nodded in agreement, “Yeah we haven’t seen you in weeks bro.” Takeda chuckled and patted their heads affectionately, “Yeah well I miss you guys too.” His eyes shifted to the two people lingering behind them, “Who are they?” Realization spread across Bokuto’s face, as if he had forgotten they were even there. “Oh yeah, Takeda meet Iwaizumi and Tsukishima,” He said gesturing to the two. Takeda studied them with calculating eyes, before addressing the whole group with a charming smile, “Well, I hope you all enjoy your stay. I’ll tell Oikawa that your drinks are on the house.” No less than a minute later, Bokuto and Kuroo became snivelling messes. “Oh my god Takeda you take such good care of us,” Bokuto cried while bowing on his hands and knees. “Yes yes, much love, much consideration,” Kuroo said, too emotional to be able to form sentences correctly. Takeda looked to Iwaizumi and Tsukishima for help, and the two boys pried Bokuto and Kuroo off him. He sighed in relief and proceeded to straighten out his dress shirt, before turning and walking towards the staff room. As he passed by the bar he called out to Oikawa, telling him that four men named Iwaizumi, Bokuto, Tsukishima, and Kuroo get drinks for free, before retiring to his office. Once he got inside he took a deep breath and sat down at his desk. He thought about Oikawa and his lot, and began to worry if they would be alright. Weekend crowds were no joke. But they were capable, he knew if anyone could handle it, it was them. ‘They can handle this,’ he thought, ‘they’ll do just fine.’


End file.
